


Thanks for the memories

by Mclarengirl74



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Carlos in red, Carlos leaving to Ferrari, Chaotic love confessions, Hurt No Comfort, I shall stop, M/M, Sad, i suck for happy endings, i tried my best to make it an happy ending, not really - Freeform, oh and, ok I’m really bsd at tagging, sad Lando, sorry - Freeform, sort of love confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28248882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mclarengirl74/pseuds/Mclarengirl74
Summary: I gave,And I gaveAnd I tried,Oh I tried
Relationships: Lando Norris & Carlos Sainz Jr, Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Thanks for the memories

**Author's Note:**

> The poetry is by a video on youtube called ‘thanks for the memories’  
> I wrote the rest by myself at 1 AM so forgive me.  
> I’m a mess.  
> I hope you enjoy!! x

_ I’m feeling some type away,  
_ _ and it’s not good _

_ I gave,  
_ _ And I gave  
_ _ And I tried,  
_ _ Oh I tried _

_ But in the end,  
_ _ You said goodbye  
_ _ While I shattered  
_ _ And cried _

Lando blinked up at the night sky, sitting on his balcony all alone. He wiped the tears away, but that didn’t stop them from rolling down like lakes on his red cheeks. He feels horrible, just the thought gives him chills. Those stars make him feel less lonely, although they are far away. He wants to believe he’s not alone, but he can’t.

He feels like he failed. Failed being a good teammate. Failed being a good friend. Carlos deserves a better teammate. A teammate just as good as himself. He feels so sorry for Carlos, for having to pull up with him for the past two years. He understands that he wanted to go. He completely lets him, because He failed.

_ Maybe I just had no place in your life _

_ I mean, I get it  
_ _ I’m the embodiment of a curse  
_ _  
And the day you cut me off  
_ _ And pushed me away _

_ I was reminded that I’m just temporary  
_ _And not a person ment to stay_

Carlos always seemed to have fun with him. Why did he pretent? Lando isn’t funny, he knows that himself. Why did he laugh, when he made yet another grammar mistake, and tease him about it for weeks. He just pretended to get along with Lando. He went to Ferrari because he was sick of pretending, Lando knows.

But what if he did have fun? Why did he suddenly leave? Wasn’t he good enough? Well, that’s obvious by now. Carlos clearly started to get sick of Lando. Lando could never get sick of Carlos. Lando blinks away the tears just at the thought. He hates Carlos for pretending these past two years. 

_ In moments such as these  
_ _ I recall why I desire to be alone  
_ _ Because if I’m alone  
_ _ No one can hurt me _

_ No one can use me  
_ _ And no one can gain my trust  
_ _ And then leave _

Lando cries out into the cold night, just to the blinking stars. Why did he have to leave? Carlos was his one to go person, whenever he needed him. He had told him so many times that he was worth it. That he was indeed a strong human being and had a beautiful character. Carlos made him build up trust, and happiness around the paddock.

But when that one person leaves, everything just seemed to crash down into a deep black hole, no escape possible. He trusted Carlos. He told him everything. Nearly. Why did Carlos have to leave him at such an important time of his life. They were just getting started on this chapter, but it just got ripped apart and thrown into the fire.

_ I hear things are well  
_ _ That you’re doing great _

_ I’m happy to hear that  
_ _ Even if what we had  
_ _ Now feels fake _

The picture of him in the seat fit broke him. It was enough for Lando to drop on his knees in the middle of the living room and cry out. It was too soon for him. He looked so different, not even happy in Lando’s eyes. But well, he doesn’t even know if he should trust himself with that. He knows Carlos just pretended in the end.

Lando wasn’t even over their helmet swap, Carlos’ helmet standing proudly next to all his other helmet. Hell he wasn’t even over the ‘no-strings-attached’ video. He couldn’t get enough of watching all their challenges, or complications of all their funniest moments, even though Lando knows it will never be all of them.

_ It seems like you’re better off without me  
And you’d rather be with their family  
Than ours _

_I understand  
I’m the stupid one here_  
_ For believing I could be something to you  
And believing that I could be set free _

And even through the unimpressed, cold look on his face in the photos blowing up on social media, he knew Carlos was happy. Happier atleast. Why else would he have left? He is already praising the Tifosi, his red ferrari shirt fitting perfectly along his muscular arms. 

Lando had thrown his phone onto the ground, lucky for him that it landed on the carpet and not on the wooden floor. He couldn’t open Instagram, or Twitter, or any other platform anymore. Each time he will be hunted by the photos. The photos that break Lando’s papaya heart.

_ For my mind that tells me eventually they all pack up and go  
_ _ And again,  
_ _ You’ll be left alone _

_This is where trust issues come into play  
So I guess I’ll say  
Thanks for the memories  
And the time you wasted on me_

“I’m sorry Carlos. I’m so sorry” he mumbled into his own hands, arms resting on his things. He couldn’t look at the stars anymore. They were all together, like one big family. No star left. They always stayed together. Sometimes, when a star wasn’t shining so bright, the other star would help him shine like the brightest star again.

It all reminds him of Carlos. How he used to cheer Lando up after a bad result, or just when Lando was feeling down. Was it always pretending? Lando guesses. He didn’t want to ask Carlos. He doesn’t want to bother him. Carlos didn’t leave him for no reason.

_I’m not mad  
More just sad with myself_  
_For becoming an eyesore  
In your picture_

_ You erased me completely from your scripture  
And I’ll try to do the same _

_I was nothing  
Nothing  
But a replacable peace  
In your game_

He will try to forget him, as best as he can. It won’t be easy. Carlos had made a big impact on his life, even though he knows everything was fake now. Carlos will still always be his muppet, his crush, even when Lando is just a shadow in Carlos’ eyes. This is why he didn’t expect a letter on his front door mat.

** Dear muppet, **

** I’m currently in Italy, but I have to admit that I’m missing England very badly. Yes, even with the terrible weather over there. I miss you. I miss holding you into my arms. I hope you don’t miss me too much. I prefer not having you hurt. Maybe I can sneak away quietly for christmas or new year eve, to find a way to you. I can’t wait to see you again! **

**Soy lago,  
Carlitos ♡︎**

‘I hope you don’t miss me too much’

Oh Carlos, if only you knew..  
If only you knew..

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave comments and kudos! Thanks for reading, a merry christmas all!! x


End file.
